So….you have decided to homeschool your child(ren). You’ve found your curriculum, checked your laws, joined a group, and done so much research you should have your first few credits of undergrad finished by now!
What Next? What do I do when they don’t actively need me? How do I fill my days with something productive yet fulfilling?
HERE is my #1 piece of advice for any homeschool parent:
🌟 Be a ⏰️ FOREVER ⏰️ learner! Spend a few quality hours per week reading a book 📖 , listening to a podcast 📻, watching a documentary 📺 about something you want to learn about. 🌟
This does multiple things for you as a homeschool teacher:
1- You set an example for your children. If your children see you dedicating time to learn as an adult with no obligation to do so, it motivates them to do the same.
2- You are showing them that learning is a NEED not a WANT. Kids often forget the importance of education in a world 🌎 of social media and video games 🎮 SHOW them that it is still a priority to FOCUS.
3- It gives you more confidence as a teacher to know that you are also capable of educating yourself! What is more confirming that you can teach your children than being able to successfully teach yourself?
Challenge: Find 1 hour this coming week to learn something new!
Atomic Habits is just one of the few books I have going right now but I definitely recommend it to all of my friends and family who are looking to make major changes in their life but don’t know where to start.
This is equally a great book for new homeschool parents looking for motivation!
Being lost is a struggle I find myself in all too often. As an extremely indecisive person, I often feel lost when I am actually just at a crossroads in my life. Do I stay or do I go? Do I forgive or do I move on? Do I let them in or shut them out?
Decision-making is so difficult for me because every decision I make is so overthought that it feels like a major life change and that comes with the potential that one wrong choice could destroy my life entirely. You would be wary too if your existence was in jeopardy with every “yes” or “no” question you had to answer.
I am working on some projects that are out of my comfort zone. I say “working on projects” because I am at the crossroad where these projects either turn into the next step or a bunch of wasted time and notebook paper. It is hard for all of us to step out of what is familiar and try things we have always dreamed of but maybe we’re a little afraid to actually do. So here I sit. Wondering if I should throw this notebook away or pay for an EIN and start filling out IRS paperwork. Oh, the amount of sleep I will not get tonight!
I try to look back on things that have recently happened that have paid off for me so far. I took a job WAY out of my comfort zone as a preschool team cheerleading coach and ended up becoming a coach for several teams with a winning season! I never thought I would be confident enough, in good enough shape, strong enough to do the things I do every day now, but here I am, doing them!
I jumped out of it again when I made the decision to separate from my husband. As you know, most of my previous posts have been about trying to save our marriage after infidelity where I tried to convince you (and myself) that you can still be happy after a pattern of betrayal.
***SPOILER ALERT** I couldn’t.
When my husband moved out, and I was actually on my own rather than “mostly” on my own, my mind finally cleared. It wasn’t being pummeled with the “what if” thoughts drowning me with the images he could be out having another affair while I’m sitting here reading self-help books barely able to drag myself out of bed every day. I was finally able to start some small projects that are now these giant life-altering decisions I am currently pondering in between running routine sets.
The most recent adventure out of my comfort zone was becoming a certified dance fitness instructor! Although I haven’t actually taught a class yet, I successfully became certified and almost have enough dances choreographed to schedule my first class!
I have made A LOT of risky decisions in a year’s time but they have all ultimately led me to a higher place in my own existence. I feel stronger, more confident, more able, and therefore more okay with taking chances. That is why I don’t understand why it is still so hard to make that leap to the next adventure. Does it ever get less scary to venture out if you constantly put yourself in that position? How do you push yourself when you already feel like you are way out of your limit?
I don’t have the answers to those questions but I can tell you that the feeling of doing it is like no other. I am about to make a decision that will fill me with so much relief and newfound anxiety that I cannot even fathom the amount of herbal tea I’m going to have to drink to overcome it but I am excited anyway. I have learned to live for the outcomes of my decisions rather than dwell on them. If things do not go the way I planned I will definitely panic (and probably cry to my mom) and then I will develop a new plan and go a different way.
Why do these obvious steps after failure always seem impossible to remember when you are at the moment right before the lesson/reward decision is made? Regardless, I have written them out for the both of us so if you need a sign to take a leap, hold my hand…..we will jump together!
It will be what it will be- This doesn’t comfort me but it is true. Whatever happens, happens. We may not be able to control the outcome but we can definitely go into it knowing that things could go great or they could go bad and we should probably be prepared for a little of both!
If you are out of your comfort zone already why not take one more step- remember watching the movies where someone afraid of heights would be on a tight rope or a barely holding on by a thread bridge and would be standing there screaming for help? But there is no room for anyone to come get them so a bulky man on the other side is saying “just one more step” and then eventually the person makes it off and cries and has a moment of triumph? I have no idea if that is a real scene in a movie but I’ve seen a lot of similar situations on TV to know that people are in them enough for me to not go to the circus or on hikes near steep valleys. The point I was making here is you can get really far into those dreams you think you will never achieve by taking one terrifying step out of that comfort zone at a time.
Those are the only 2 pieces of advice I have for us today. All you can really know in life is that 1. things can either go good or bad but usually, you will get a little of both, and 2. the only way to reach a scary goal is to do scary things. If you know this going into the decision-making process it may comfort you to know that staying in one place is also a risk. So whether you make moves or stay in one place there is always a hint of risk in everything you do so DO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!
The information in this post is my experience only. I am not a healthcare professional and do NOT give healthcare advice. This post is for informational purposes only reach out to your local providers and government officials for further information.
It is a year and a half after I was admitted with COVID-19 in 2020 and I am recovering with just a few long-haul symptoms I have been researching and treating on my own. I was sitting at the table yesterday when I opened a letter from an attorney. “You are being sued! Reach out so we can fight for you and stay ahead of this lawsuit.”
I automatically crumpled it up and wrote it off as a scam (there are always scams coming in the mail and online) but I noticed it gave me a case number and I thought I could look it up just to be sure.
The case was REAL and I was being sued for services I did not even know I had received.
Flashback:
In 2020 when the pandemic first hit us I lost my taste and smell. We were in the middle of a lockdown so I thought I would be fine locked upstairs and away from the world. Two days after losing my taste and smell I got a headache. Not a migraine or a sinus headache it was a thunderclap that would not go away. I am very prone to dehydration and I figured I was dehydrated severely from not wanting to drink (everything had the texture of mud with no taste). My husband drove me to the ER where I was screened and put in a small triage room and tested for COVID. They gave me a bag of IV fluids and sent me home. Two days after the first ER visit, I received the call that I tested positive and was to quarantine.
I had already been in bed because the headache never went away and had slept since I left the ER anyway. My husband was instructed to stay away from me and he did. A few days later, I woke up and could not see straight, I could not speak, and I could not walk. I remember going downstairs to get into the truck and falling repeatedly while my husband kept asking what was wrong. He drove me to the ER and I was put in a wheelchair and wheeled in by an EMT. That was the last thing I remembered for three days.
I woke up in the hospital three days after my husband dropped me off and was receiving heavy oxygen, lots of fluids, antibiotics, and steroids via IV. I found my phone in my bag of belongings by the bed (luckily I had shut it off in the truck on the way to the hospital so it would not die) and I did have a little battery left. I called my husband and he said no one had told him anything. I called my mother, the same story. I had been in the hospital for three days and no one had a clue what had happened to me. It was a rough 5-day hospital stay but I was eventually discharged and recovered.
Push forward:
Back to the letter in my hand and the lawsuit I found myself in. I was being sued by a creditor and after calling them, found the account was through a radiologist. Apparently, when I was in the hospital those first few days, several x-rays and ultrasounds were done. I was never notified of this and I also never received a bill for it so it was news to me. I decided to call the hospital and see what they could tell me since I had applied for assistance as I was uninsured.
The hospital informed me that they never received my application for assistance and that I owed a very large bill ( It was two ER trips and five-day hospital admission if that helps gauge). They also informed me that, because we are more than 8 months past that admission, I am no longer able to receive assistance. I asked about the CARE’s Act and she informed me she did not know anything else but I could set up a payment plan.
Now, I went into panic mode. I was being sued by the radiologist and had an outrageous hospital bill that was about to move into collections. After having 3 large panic attacks and crying a few times, I opened my computer and did what I do best. I researched the CARE’s ACT and read it in its entirety. I was able to gather a TON of helpful information that helped me discover my bill was improperly coded (they had me listed with the insurance I no longer had and therefore did not code me as an uninsured patient) and they were able to fix the account in a matter of hours! After going through that nightmare (and reading and researching for HOURS)
I am going to tell you 5 things YOU should know in case you end up needing care while uninsured.
The Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act (CARES) WILL reimburse eligable health care facilities who provide COVID testing, treatment, or vaccines for uninsured patients.
If you have to be admitted, end up in the ER, have to be tested, or need the vaccine but DO NOT have insurance (as long as the facility is eligible) the facility can code your visit to be reimbursed by the act and you should never even see a bill!
How do I know if a facility is available? Check here to see a list of providers who have used the relief fund reimbursement:
2. Your healthcare provider is not likely to tell you that the CARE’S Act is an option, you are probably going to have to ask for it to be coded that way.
The provider who gets reimbursed through the CARES Act is most likely going to be reimbursed at a Medicaid rate (a lower rate than what they can charge you as an individual). If they can charge you or get you to use financial assistance they have a chance of receiving more money. I am not accusing providers of this I am just mentioning that it happens. If you have treatment make sure you make it CLEAR you would like some help through the CARES Act.
3. If the healthcare provider is reimbursed by the CARES Act they CANNOT bill you for services or allow you to use the hospital charity programs.
If the healthcare provider is approved to get reimbursement through the Act they cannot bill you or take funds from any other program to cover your bill.
4. If you have already started paying a bill or have completely paid for services you may still be able to have the facility code you into the CARES Act and be reimbursed for any payments you made.
5. If an outside source was used to help treat you during COVID treatment they will be reimbursed by the main healthcare provider.
Let’s say a radiologist is suing you for a bill you did not even know you had that is related to COVID treatment. The hospital that used them to do the test/therapy/treatment will be required to reimburse that entity when they are reimbursed.
If you have any other questions about what the CARES Act helps the uninsured with, who is eligible, how they consider one to be uninsured, etc I HIGHLY encourage you to go to this site and read through it well. Just a heads up that it is written for the healthcare providers not for individuals so keep that in mind:
I hope that none of you have to face COVID and much less the stress of being uninsured and needing expensive treatments, but if you do I hope this information was helpful to you.
The links included above also have detailed information and links that help providers find the correct code to use in order to apply for reimbursement. If your provider needs help feel free to refer them to that information as well.
My Breakdown and Reviews of Popular Homeschooling Methods
As COVID19 continues to postpone definite answers for what school will look like this year, many parents are looking into the option of homeschooling and I thought a quick overview on what that looks like may be helpful.
First, I want to say homeschooling and virtual homeschooling through your district are very different things. Homeschooling outside of a brick and mortar school allows you to choose a curriculum and schedule that works specifically for your child’s learning style. There are so many options for curriculum and even methods for homeschooling. I will discuss a few in this post. Also, make sure to research the laws and regulations in your state. Missouri is a very easy state to homeschool in but it is SO important to know what your responsibilities are. Many of your local homeschool groups and resources can get you educated on the laws and HSLDA is an amazing organization for homeschool parents to stay protected as well.
I just wanted to share some basic information about homeschooling for some of my friends and readers who have been asking. There are many who know more than I do, but we have tried a ton of things in our 3 years (and 2 after schooling years) so I feel like I can give you a good comparison and intro to different approaches. We are considered “eclectic homeschoolers” because we use a mix of wild schooling, Charlotte Mason, and classical education. The best part of homeschooling is you can make it whatever you want!
Charlotte Mason is the first homeschooling style I am going to touch on. When I started homeschooling I had no idea who Charlotte Mason was or what her teaching philosophy entailed. She wrote volumes on how to give a child a well-rounded education using good literature (also called “living books”), nature study, and riches like composer studies, Shakespeare, and art appreciation. She also believed that children learned through play and explorations and only suggests about 15 minutes of sit down work at a time.
We started implementing the Charlotte Mason approach this year using Ambleside online. It is a free curriculum and you can purchase the readings. Everything is broken down easily and I even use the printable schedule to track hours! I really enjoy AmblesideOnline because a lot of the books are classics that are available on Librivox for free as audio or to read online. There are also several free-$1 on Amazon Kindle! If you are interested in teaching more classically and like the idea of adding riches, handicrafts, and nature into your home-school Charlotte Mason may be a good method to research!
Wild-schooling is another very hands-on approach to homeschooling. The concept of wild-schooling is that children learn through outdoor and natural play and exploration. This can include unit studies (you study a single subject at a time based on your child’s interests or what you specifically want to focus on) or you can use a regular curriculum and add natural and outdoor approaches.
We have used the wild-schooling philosophy since we started three years ago. We have an outdoor classroom (aka a giant wooden spool, a few decks, hammocks, and a reading area) where the kids can do lessons, science experiments, or free read outside. We have an open and a covered area so weather doesn’t affect their desire to spend their time outdoors. We also do a lot of nature study (which ties into the Charlotte Mason approach I mentioned earlier) so we raise animals, have a garden, go hiking, and camping often. There is an amazing book we use with AmblesideOnline who has made wild-schooling even better. It has loads of interesting information on everything from animals to fungi along with stories that make them fun and interesting. If being outdoors and hands-on learning is something your child enjoys, then wild-schooling may be a good option for you!
Raising quail since they are studying about them! Great hands-on while caring for them, building habitats, and watching behaviors.
Classical Education- I really loved the idea of classical education because I read a lot of books that take place in the one-room schoolhouse era and I really romanticize that approach because of it. However, my children were not big fans of the learning style. Classical uses a lot of memory and repetition. Students learn facts, dates, and people through memorization. The material usually has 3 to 4 “cycles” (areas of study to rotate so cycle 1 may be ancient history, cycle 2 middle ages, cycle 3 early modern, and cycle 4 modern history). All subjects will relate to the cycle you are on and you will rotate those 4 adding more with each round. This approach is very good if you are teaching multiple children with a larger age gap. If you are in cycle 1 (ancient history) you can have younger students do less work or more age-appropriate work while adding information and readings and projects for older children. Your lessons can be directed toward both but what they do with them can still look age-appropriate.
We do use a site called allinonehomeschool.com that runs similar to a classical approach. They offer an offline curriculum that is set up in 4 cycles and it makes teaching so much easier since my kids have a decent gap in age. Classical Conversations is a great resource and even offers a community that meets weekly for 2 semesters. Claritas Classical is what we use for memory. It is very similar to Classical Conversations but can be done independently and is much cheaper. History curriculum that runs in cycles like this includes: The Story of the World books and Mystery of History. We have used Story of the World and enjoyed it but my kids really enjoy the allinonehomeschool program and AO mix we use right now.
Boxed curriculum is a great start for people just starting out that do not have the time (or really the information) to dig yet. Maybe you have no idea what your child’s teaching style or education interests are (and don’t feel bad because none of us do at first and even when you figure it out it can change quickly!) This type of approach is where you can just choose your child’s grade level (or sometimes they can even take placements tests so you know what level to buy) and everything is included. They send you teaching guides that tell you EXACTLY what to say to your child (if you aren’t comfortable with teaching yet) and all the work, lesson plans, books, etc. These are usually more expensive than other options but when you are new it sometimes helps to have everything laid out for you until you get the hang of it.
Allinonehomeschool.com (EasyPeasy) is a free online curriculum that is a boxed curriculum. It includes everything you need for you and your child for FREE! It has a funny name and because its free people like to question the quality but my children retain more from that curriculum than they have in any of the others we have tried. It is also very easy to add onto and you can buy everything in print if you prefer too. Abeka, My Father’s World, The Good and The Beautiful, and Sonlight are a few of the more popular boxed curriculum I have seen people use. I have not used any of these so I cannot give you an accurate review on them but I will say YouTube and your local homeschooling community can!
Literature-based programs– are exactly what they sound like. You can usually buy a book-list and lesson plans and then find those books online or in the library to use as your curriculum. Pinterest is also an awesome resource for literature-based learning because you can find a hands-on, craft, of science activity for almost anything there! Amblesideonline is very similar to a literature-based program, Book shark, and Build Your Library are some other common literature-based curriculum to look into.
Unit Studies– are very common with most approaches. This is where you take something your child is really interested in (maybe you have a child who loves sharks and you can do an ocean or sea life unit study or an older child who wants to be a vet or a web designer) and create a curriculum to incorporate those interests for however long you like or until the child shows a new interest. For the future web designer, you could start the free CSFirst computer coding curriculum for computer science, practice statistics and coding for math, have them read books about the career path, entrepreneurship, and other topics related to the specific interest for reading and literature, have them design a website and write posts for writing, and create content for art and any other subject you haven’t already covered. This can be done free if you research where to look and use your local library!
We plan to use this approach more in highschool. I want the kids to get a chance to explore their career interests before committing to a college or a trade school so we plan to do exactly this! Right now we use unit studies during the summer and holiday breaks. My kids love school and exploring so when we are ready for a break from the regular curriculum we will pick a topic to unit study as a family. Thinking Tree books are our FAVORITE and I highly suggest you check them out! They have an entire line of Minecraft, art, and animal-themed books that can be used to collect information and encourage exploration.
Thinking Tree books
The last option I am going to touch on is the online curriculum. Again, this is different than your school virtual school option because you will pick the curriculum, how much time you spend doing school, and what you will require where your child’s teacher will do all of that through the school.
Online curriculum -is basically a boxed curriculum you don’t have to buy and store but pay a monthly or yearly fee to use. They have everything from self-lead and game-based, to options that include live classes, or tutors. I always keep a subscription to an online curriculum the kids can use when we are either traveling, someone is ill and I cannot teach full lessons like usual, or when I’m working during peak seasons. It is an amazing resource because you can usually test into the appropriate levels (and each level can often be customized to your child’s strengths and weaknesses. This means, for example, if they are behind in math they could do a grade down in math and still stay a grade ahead in other subjects.)
I am just going to give a brief overview of what we have used and you can research any you like further or ask specific questions in the comments.
Time4Learning is the first one we use and the one we use currently. It is very easy to follow and understand. Has a good mix of content, videos, and games/rewards and my kids don’t get too bored with it when we do use it. Cons I have noticed is it can get a little boring because it lacks fun effects and the kids would never be able to stay focused on it enough to use as a full curriculum because of that. I know many people whose children can but mine did not do well with it as a full curriculum.
Funcation Academy is my favorite. They offered online clubs that met live with a teacher (art, chess, trivia, etc), they have a virtual campus where kids can make an avatar and walk around campus to interact with other students. It is all monitored by the teachers and administrators. It has an online lab where kids can collaborate with other kids on science projects and papers. I loved everything about this program but my kids are too young to appreciate it and there are still a few bugs in the program since they are adding so much too it. I would say this is a great junior high to high school option for kids who like to have some social interaction throughout the school day and may not get it in other settings.
PowerHomeschool was my least favorite out of everything we tried. The videos were great quality and very entertaining but my kids weren’t able to retain ANYTHING. They did well on their exams and quizzes but weren’t able to build off of it into the next chapter because they didn’t retain well. It is mostly video-based with very little game-play or rewards. I know a lot of parents who swear by it so it is worth looking into if your children learn well visually and don’t need a lot of hands-on learning.
There are many other options, these are just the ones I am most familiar with and have used personally.
My biggest recommendation for anyone looking into homeschooling would be to find your local community. There is so much to offer where I live from art classes, PE, co-ops, and clubs to just field trip groups who plan things together. It can seem very scary but the hardest part is also the most fun. Choosing the way your child learns best and the way you enjoy teaching is the hardest part of this process for most. You can find free resources if you are on a budget, you can spend your entire day socializing your child outside of a regular classroom, you can go on field-trips as often and as far as you would like. There is an endless amount of reasons why homeschooling is a truly amazing thing.
If you have any specific questions or would like me to elaborate on any certain style I highlighted today, feel free to leave a comment or shoot me an email. I am only 3 years into homeschooling but have been teaching in an after-school and preschool setting for almost 15 years! Good luck with whatever path you take for your child’s education this year! There is no wrong way to teach a child so don’t let anyone pressure you into or out of something you think is best!
This year we made some huge changes to our small suburban homestead. We added a big garden and lots of small livestock and some new equipment and landscaping to go with it!
This year was also the year we almost got a divorce.
When I say that it has been AMAZING to have the distractions of working on all of the fun parts of a homestead, it doesn’t mean the hurt has been completely overshadowed. So this year, we decided to do our 5th anniversary as big as our wallets would allow in the middle of a Pandemic.
When we got married we both wanted BEAUTIFUL wooden wedding rings we found on Etsy. Sadly, paying for our wedding made that difficult so we decided to be more traditional. We had planned to FINALLY buy those wooden rings this year only to find out they would not be in before our trip.
We decided we would wait until later in the year to get them (because the 5th year is traditionally a wood gift and that is something we both wanted anyway) so check back to see what we think of those. So we both bought a few small gifts to mark the big day and decided to spend our money on experiences.
He always loses his glasses when he takes them off so this is how I help with that and fulfill a wooden gift 😂
We have NEVER taken a trip without the kids so it was exciting and a little scary too.
Go-carts are a go-to for us but we have never been able to ride at the same time or on the adult tracks because we always travel with young children. AS SOON AS WE PULLED INTO BRANSON, we pulled into the first go-cart place and raced, full speed on an adult track, TOGETHER! It was so much fun! After I beat him, we went to the hotel room and looked for some food.
We stayed at a cheap hotel that we found which also had the option to get a jacuzzi tub in the room. To our surprise (and my husband’s amazement) the tub was right in front of the TV and next to the bed in the main room! The first night we just relaxed in the tub after eating IHop at midnight and enjoyed stretching out after the long car ride.
The tub is literally right next to the bed!
The next day we went to the Landing and looked in all of our favorite stores and tried some new food. We stood for the National Anthem fire and fountain show and had a great time. We also went to all the fun antique shops and flea markets where we found lots of cute, personal gifts for ourselves and our families. We stumbled on a small paintball field and played until we were both in pain. That might sound awful but the chance of spontaneity is a rare thing when you are a parent and we loved every second of it!
Paintball battle scar on the back of his arm and he made sure I had one to match!🤦♀️
To end the day (we thought), he took me for what used to be all you can eat crab legs (but was actually you can buy a pound for a million dollars and the jokes on you for paying that because they contain no meat) and he got a steak since he HATES anything that comes out of the water. I may have cried over the price of my piddle meal and his burnt and bleeding steak so we ended up at the Landing tasting moonshine and eating fried green-beans by the fountain. It turned out to be a sweet ending to the night that included photos by the night lit fountain and dancing in the middle of the sidewalk next to the lake.
After all the moonshine on an empty stomach, we decided we should tour the wax museum, do the mirror maze, and a 5D haunted ride. None of these were good ideas on a stomach filled with alcohol and fried foods but we had fun anyway.
We ended the night driving all over for some cheap wine coolers and Krispy Kream to eat in the hot tub while we watched Impractical Jokers on the tiny TV.
4D movie/game/ride and he got 1st place!
Mini-golf and more seafood ended our trip in Branson the next morning and we headed to Springfield! The Bass Pro Shop is one of our favorite trips with the kids but we got to see the new aquarium and OH MY GOSH! IT WAS AMAZING! We both kept saying how much we wished the kids were with us because it had everything we all loved. We are already planning our trip to take the kids and if you head that way anytime soon YOU should go too! From jellyfish to bats this place was filled with secret doors and sting-ray petting. It was both of our favorite parts of the trip!
It was too hot for mini golf!Aquarium at Bass Pro Shop Springfield So many jellyfish!!
We ended up in a super cheap hotel that actually turned out to be pretty awesome, spent our days doing cheap, shady-looking places that ended up being a TON of fun, and we went to restaurants that had portion sizes big enough for 2 to cut our food bill in half. Moonshine tasting is free on the landing and you get discounts basically everywhere if you ask or look hard enough. Branson is usually a pretty expensive spot for a family of 5 but we had an awesome 5-year anniversary getaway that our empty pockets were able to afford!
I don’t really know what else there is to say on the matter.
When you turn 30 (unless you are one of those people I watch on TV who still have a zillion friends and an active social life) you don’t get the chance to throw a big party on THE actual day with your actual friends. It usually falls on a Tuesday and everyone you enjoy being around is working.
You can’t plan a big event because Susan is working overtime, Jesse is out of town that day, or your kids have a baseball game until the end of time. It can feel lonely and a LOT depressing to realize, not only are you ANOTHER year older, but you have no social life left.
Something about these types of birthdays put things into perspective. Maybe I need to say “yes” to more invites, maybe I need to be a better friend, maybe I should go visit my family more often, or why the fuck did I not take that amazing job so I could be on an airplane somewhere awesome right now? After 24 I spend most of my birthdays like this. I usually start them as a normal day and end them a little depressed that they aren’t exciting anymore.
Today, I am going to try something a little different. I am writing this half of the post now, at 8:20 in the morning. I just taught my only class for the day and took a nice dose of Midol to survive the rest. I decided I wanted to work on my blog and support a few other growing mom blogs along the way. As I was scrolling through some other small blogs I realized that these were “my people” now. The people who understood the struggle I am in. Trying to make content, feel fulfilled, raise a family, and keep the world turning. These are the women I can never find because we are all at home, trying to make everyone’s life run smoothly while making sense of our own.
My goal for this birthday is to:
Promote at least 3 small mom blogs
treat 2 of my friends to something small
make a stranger smile
make it through the entire day without crying (this deserves extra credit if I do it because it is day 2 of “my time” and I’m usually an emotional asshole”
So here we go! I will update you on the big “3-1” tonight!
UPDATE
Got a cupcake frappe from The Ground-A-Bout secret menu and it was delicious!Sweet homemade cards from the kids ❤
I did go get my secret menu coffee and stopped by to give a great friend a small treat while she was at work. When I got back home, the family was FINALLY awake and surprised me with homemade cards and confetti. (which they cleaned up as soon as they finished throwing it at me!)
They also cleaned the main rooms of the house, lit my favorite scented candles, and laid out all of my favorite movies for me! At this point in the day, it was already noon and I was a little nervous we would miss our 2 hour trip up to Elephant Rock State Park. By the time we packed, stopped for lunch, and finally headed off, it was 2 pm. By 4 pm, I had already cried once or twice and had to cross that off the list of things I had hoped to accomplish today!
The first cry was because we locked up the house and were finally loaded into the car. We realized no one grabbed the keys and the spare key was missing and we were not only unable to leave but locked out of the house. Luckily, the kids left the bathroom window unlocked so K climbed through it to grab the keys and we were off!
The next was after we arrived at Elephant Rock. We unloaded and were packing up the backpack with waters and sunscreen. I have Crohn’s Disease so I was in the bathroom sick from the ride up. When I got back to the car, we decided we should probably grab some extra waters and sunscreen (just in case we get lost) AND THE KEYS WERE LOCKED IN THE CAR!!!!
It took about 20 minutes to jimmy up the window enough to get the door open and the keys out. It also took several more tears from my goal of the day because I have anxiety already and this kind of shit just doesn’t help me at ALL!
We did finally make it to the trails and here are just a few pictures of the beauty of that!
Elephant Rock State ParkBeautiful views and so much fun!One of our favorite hiking spots!
We only lasted about 2 hours (and 6 water bottles) into the hike before the kids wanted to look for a water hole. I was also a little dehydrated from being sick so I agreed. We drove 12 miles down the road to Johnsons Shut-ins. None of us had ever been there and it was beautiful, refreshing, and exactly what we needed after our hike!
I don’t have any pictures of this because we trucked the waters and I didn’t want to ruin the cameras. However, K didn’t get that memo, so apparently I did carry my camera through the entire thing and didn’t get one photo!
I would recommend a day at Elephant Rock and a cooling evening at Johnson’s Shut-ins for anyone who enjoys the outdoors (or needs some good pictures). It was a fun and stressful birthday but I survived and everyone slept it off well.
As for the rest of my “birthday list”, I probably made several strangers more than smile at my panic attack in the parking lot. I spent an hour of the ride home: sharing, commenting, and encouraging other small bloggers and their content. I uploaded some of my images into a free archive for other bloggers and builders to use. I managed to still help some of “my people” even though I didn’t get to share a drink with a single one on my birthday.
Let me know if you have any funny birthday memories that were awful at the time but will stay with you forever.
Travel has always been my motivation in life. Have I been to many exotic places? No. Have I planned A TON of exotic trips in my life? No. Am I willing to give it a shot (and a quick call to my travel agent) now that I am Lady of Chaol Ghleann and own land in Scotland? YES!!!!
You are probably wondering how an at-home ESL and homeschool teacher and mother of 3 owns land in Scotland. You are probably also wondering how that same woman is LEGALLY allowed to use the title “Lady of” in her name too. (I will be taking full advantage of this title by the way.) The answer is:
CASTLE AND LAND PRESERVATION PROJECTS IN THE UK!
I was telling my husband how AMAZING it would be to hold a title and travel the world. I also told him I had found a way to do this and offered to put him on the right track if he wanted to “get me that for my bithday this year…” HE DID IT! (Well, I did it but he paid for it so it is considered an actual birthday gift. I just did the research so it was legit and not a scam.)
Here is how it works.
~Decide what country you would like to hold a title in.– I only actively looked for options in the UK and I found the option for Scotland, Ireland, and London. I am planning to add to my collection of titles and tiny plots of land over the years but Scotlands cause captivated me so I went with that one first.
~Pick Your Cause– The two options I found to be LEGIT in Scotland were Dunans Castleand Highland Titles. They both have excellent websites that explain exactly what you are getting and what you can do with different decorative title tiers.
Highland Titles– offered different amounts of land to purchase on the nature reserve, the option to plant trees in the new Lord or Lady’s honor, and access to your piece of land on the reserve at any time. Purchasing your title goes to the preservation of the reserve in Scotland and various other wildlife and nature options came with different tiers.
Dunans Castle– offers different decorative titles as well. However, the money is used toward restoring the historic Dunans Castle and its land. The levels run from a 1×1 ft plot of land to owning your own piece of the castle itself! You can also buy accessories with your official tartan, visit your plot of land, tour the castle, and more!
Here is a photo of Dunans Castle
After thinking it over, we decided to go with Dunans Castle. We chose the “Marble” tier of ownership which got us:
-Our official LEGAL titles of Lord and Lady. -2 1’x1′ squares of land on the grounds -deeds of entitlement signed and sealed by the present Laird -lifetime access to the grounds -2 native trees planted in our honor -fishing rights to Alt a Chaol Ghleann -Use of the Insignia -Access to LOTS of accessories with the insignia and tartan -email address -and several other perks
~Buy YOUR title and USE it!- I have read people can get everything from a hotel upgrade to complimentary drinks at the bar. I really doubt it but I’m not going to hope maybe it does. This is NOT why we bought it so I do not intend to use the title this way but if it happens I will update you on the blog!
Here is the Dunans Castle tartan (Which also happens to be our favorite colors)
Now, our titles are legal so we can change our credit cards and bank accounts and drivers licenses when the official paperwork arrives from Scotland. However, acceptance into the official House of the Lords is only available if you LIVE in Scotland. Because we do NOT we are officially Lord and Lady of OUR small piece of land in Scotland and recognized as such.
Maybe this sounds ridiculous to you, but I am ECSTATIC for the chance to use my title, sport my tartan and insignia, talk and (hopefully someday soon) visit our piece of land in Scotland, and help rebuild and preserve a beautiful piece of history. My husband is excited he will have somewhere to fish and a place to stay when we do visit Scotland now.
I already called my travel agent to start booking our first trip (of hopefully many) to see the beauty of Scotland. Because I am a lover of learning here are some other things I did:
Researched the Languages used in Scotland
Downloaded Duolingo to start learning Scottish Gaelic
Vowed to use my new glass calligraphy pen to write some beautiful Gaelic proverbs to put on the wall by our official documents
Added Scotland to this years homeschool unit studies
Here is the EXACT glass pen I got for calligraphy I will be using on this project:
If you homeschool this is a GREAT project for the kids. Many countries including Ireland (next on my list) and England offer the same things. Groupon has some AWESOME deals to buy your title for as little at $10! Your kids can have an official title with all of the paperwork to prove it. This can give them a more personal motivation to learn about a differnt culture and make geography so much fun!
Let me know in the comments if you would like to see how we plan to incorporate our new titles in our homeschooling studies this year.
If you would like more information on these options here are a few different links.
How My First Dive Into Worship Art Helped Me Overcome the Chaos of 2020
I have been taking a journey into the world of art while homeschooling my kids and actually found a great love for it. One thing I have learned is, what makes art special is its meaning or how one chooses to interpret it.
I haven’t made it a secret that this year has been a struggle since the beginning. It has been for all of us! Between an affair being uncovered on just the 5th day of the year, overcoming my insecurities to journey into forgiveness, COVID-19 struggles, and my health, I have been leaning on art and God to get me through this.
I was recently introduced to the concept of Worship Art. Some people choose to worship this way through dance, flags, singing, writing, or painting. Today, I gave it a shot!
I went outside, put on my favorite praise music, took off my shoes and socks to feel the Earth under my feet, and let the music and the environment lead me.
The first thing that came to mind were my worries. They are so strong, vibrant, and ever present. I can never seem to mesh them together in a way that makes since in Gods plan for me. So I painted them. Vibrant, strong, and ugly I laid them out by name on the blank canvas.
I honestly started to hate the whole thing after I finished blotting and rubbing them all over the place and thought about throwing the whole thing out. Then, a song came on. (The song in the video I made if you want to hear it.)
I saw the white paint and thought of the purity of Jesus. I took the white paint and I started to blend.
The finished product was the result of the blending. I blended every sin, every obstacle, and every heartache with the purity of God’s plan for me. He knows that those streaks of harsh colors and squiggles will someday make (and already has made) a beautiful life, just for me! I looked at the finished product and realized…..some people may hate this. Some people will wonder how I ever saw this as art, why I didn’t just throw it away. I see the troubles that have kept me awake at night and made me fall to my knees… mixed together into a beautiful mess of what makes me who I am.
If you are going through a season right now, I urge you to look into worship art. I know many already lean on his word and praise him but try something new. He may reveal things you need to see in a way you never knew you needed!
Here is the process, the scripture that came to mind, and the song that gave this meaning to me!
The husband and I are about to celebrate our 10 years (dating) anniversary right in the middle of the COVID-19 quarantine. Obviously, that means we can’t go anywhere or do anything we had planned. The good news is that I have been doing reviews on date ideas and have found A TON of at-home ideas to share.
Whether you are celebrating a major milestone or something small, here are some quarantine friendly date ideas for some fun at home.
Massage night- I actually did a review on this and it is one of our all-time favorite ideas for at-home dates. You can do this big with accessories, fancy candles, oils, and drinks, or super simple with whatever you have laying around! Find a tutorial on YouTube or Pinterest and get to relaxing!
^^^^^^^A search on Pinterest you can start with for basics of massage
Dinner and dancing– We have been taking YouTube dance classes so this is one we enjoy doing weekly/daily. You can cook a fun meal together (or order curbside or delivery from your favorite restaurant—–if you can make it a local place to support small business—even better!) Then find a type of dance you want to learn, watch a few tutorials, turn on some music and practice what you learned. Remember to laugh and have fun with it! The mistakes make it even more exciting when you finally get it right. My husband and I have never been a dancing couple but after trying out a class on Valentine’s Day we are hooked! Dress up, turn down the lights or decorate with some romantic lighting to make it even more special.
Here is the first of the country swing dances my husband and I do.
Movie Night– This one is fairly obvious but if you add some fun details you can make it special. Experiment with fun popcorn toppings or flavors, try a new genre of movie, find a new fun place to watch. On our spa date night we used the bathtub as a foot soak we could both use. We put chairs by the tub and brought the TV in to watch a movie while we relaxed by the tub (actually we watched The Office when we did it because we are basic people like that). We have also built a blanket fort to watch in as another way to make movie night more fun. Make sure you add some kind of special touch so it doesn’t feel like the normal “Netflix and Chill” night.
^^^^^^^Here are a few links I found on a quick Pinterest search for fun popcorn ideas
Video or Photography (TikTok) Party- Okay, hear me out here…. this doesn’t have to be TikTok or even public. We use TikTok because I downloaded it to check the hype and got addicted. Making videos can be fun and hilarious! We usually use the app to make them, download the finished project to our phones, and delete them from the app. You can add special effects, pick fun sounds, and practice your acting and comedy skills while making fun memories. I like to do this with my kids too but it is fun for date night. I don’t know that my husband really enjoys this as much as I do but if you have a SO that likes to joke around, is creative, and enjoys playing around with special effects…. this could be a fun idea for you. You could also just make your own without the app. I just like how easy it is and (like I already said) I am kind of addicted.
Here is one of little bit and I. We took 5 minutes to learn the dance and had fun making the video!
Learn Something– Think of something you have both wanted to learn and YouTube it. Like to do art projects and have some stuff laying around? Want to redecorate your bedroom? Have something to repurpose or update? Couples yoga or couples workouts look like something you want to try? Do it! Learn something together!
I found this to do as a date night project in the future. So many tutorials for fun canvas and other art ideas.
This seemed like a fun couples Yoga video from YouTube.
I have tried several at-home dates and these are some of my favorites! Here is a link to my reviews and a few videos of some of the fun things we have done. I hope you can get a few new ideas so the quarantine doesn’t put a stop to your fun or special occasions!
Trauma is a terrible thing. Everyone has advice until they are hit with their own traumatic experiences and they turn to you. Forgetting all of the “helpful” advice they so willingly shared in your time of need. I am not going to pretend I have any REAL understanding of how to handle trauma here. What I can tell you is that according to my counseling pastor I am “an actual miracle.” Or rather “we” are. ****inserting eye roll because I am an honest mess and we just have a really nice pastor***
Because it is the type of trauma I am CURRENTLY struggling with this post is about relationship trauma. Taking the path I have chosen has not been easy. Yes, I do still spend nights alone in my bedroom crying (loudly now, no more of the sweet, silent tears of a woman’s struggle) and I do spend many a day getting absolutely nothing done. I also am still a pretty horrible friend and family member. The difference between now and a few weeks ago? I DON’T F-ing CARE!
Trauma is an asshole. It likes to come in and make a tear fall when you are in the middle of smiling. It likes to interrupt unexpected laughter with a severe bout of rage. It likes to let you think you can move on while shackling itself to your bones. We have all been through a lot of mixed trauma in our lives. Some, wear it well and learn their lessons. Some choose not to wear it and live their lives swimming in its cold depth. But, there are some of us who put on our boots and fight it. Here is what I have learned so far…… Here is the advice you weren’t (or were) asking for…… Here are “the things people not going through trauma want to tell you” and “the things I actually learned trying to do that.” Enjoy:
I’m just going to start with my ABSOLUTE favorite one. (I don’t mess around here, you know?)
Make sure you let yourself actually FEEL IT!– I’m sorry? What? So insomnia, anxiety attacks, nausea, crying spells, night sweats, rage, and depression are NOT feelings? I was so confused the first 50 times I heard this but it lead me on a journey to figure out WTF it means and I may have learned some things.
I did not understand this at all but, one night, when I was having an extreme emotion, I consciously asked myself “what am I crying about?” I wanted to see if I was passed the “OMG my life is a complete mess and this is the most painful thing I have ever been through in my life” phase and may be moved into something else. Turns out, I was! I was crying because I was disappointed nothing had changed, I was crying because I was scared even if I leave, I may never find what I am looking for. I was crying because I was afraid I would never feel the things I used in the same way again. I was crying for a lot of reasons but they were specific enough I could now address them and start setting goals. I can make plans. I can treat the “symptoms”. So I appreciate that advice more now than I did at the time. Maybe you will too!
I would say to you. When you get to a point you can stop the stream of tears or the screaming into the pillow long enough to ask yourself “What is wrong” you are farther along and actually FEELING AGAIN! My advice would be to start treating those feelings as symptoms or goals. Worried you are unattractive and will never find someone? Go relax in the shower or do something for yourself. (You look beautiful by the way! Whatever BS made you think that is completely FALSE and you are perfect the way you are!) Worried you will never trust again? Think about a time you overcame something and didn’t quit. Learn to trust yourself! Having something to work towards gives us a chance to push ourselves and overcome our fears.
2. Just go on ONE date! There are good ones out there! you will think differently when you are treated the way you should be!– This should have been first because I PROMISE YOU it WILL be the first piece of advice you get from MOST people. It is also the most appealing option. Who doesn’t want to feel appreciated and start their own shiny new love? But…… what I learned is……. it may not actually make anything better.
I found that when I really convinced myself THE NEXT GUY is going to be better, I was setting a bar I was not sure I would reach. (Honestly, my dating history is not full of great guys and “ones who got away”) I STILL got excited about the prospect. I made it known I may be looking and it took maybe a few minutes for the DM’s to start dinging. I won’t lie. It felt nice to know that I wasn’t the unappealing wretch I pictured myself to be and it definitely boosted my confidence. But then, my brain showed up and reminded me that I didn’t know any of these people anymore and I am honestly a sucker for an unhealthy rebound relationship so I deleted them before I made the same mistakes I always do.
My advice here would be: ONLY take the dip if you are really ready and know WHO you are FIRST! If you have a history of “falling in love” with the first person you meet after a messy relationship. DO NOT DATE YET! If you are good with the casual, no feelings type hook-up then go for it. KNOW YOURSELF!
3. Get Out NOW before they suck you back in.– Here is where I tell you my thoughts and say “but I don’t know, do what you want…” because I’m not trying to mess up your life…..
I heard this from EVERYONE. “If you stay he will do everything he can to convince you that you are wrong. He will keep you stuck in this and you will never escape!” This is actually…TRUE! (for some) He did do EVERYTHING I have ever asked and it convinced me to stay. I have nothing more to say than that. Maybe a few posts down the road you will know if this paid off for me or made things worse…….who knows?
4. Work It Out!- This one was not so common for me but if you have kids you are likely to hear this. It may take a very long time for the idea of this to not look like a slapstick amateur hour comedy act but after reading A LOT of books and talking to A LOT of people, it is something that happens. I am working on this stage right now. I can tell you it SUCKS!
I would encourage you to work it out if the situation is safe. Emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, whatever. If you are NOT safe DO NOT do this! I am assuming you are safe. (If you are not, get help now, because they can and will pull you back in AND do it again!) If you want to work it out it is not easy and it is not fast. You have to relive things all the time and everything is a trigger. The other partner is going to get sick of it and hurt you more and then you will both feel like crap again. Let me repeat: THIS SUCKS! I hear it is worth it from SO MANY PEOPLE who have overcome trauma in relationships so there is that to help you.
There it is. This is what I have learned so far. I have no idea if any of it is helpful but it is what happens. I have been asked for LOTS of advice on overcoming mistrust and infidelity in relationships and I hope I gave you SOMETHING in this you can use. But, just to make sure I include ALL of the questions I have been asked (even though I have no answers) I am including ‘The Questions With No Answers List” here as a bonus for you!
How do you trust again?– I honestly do not think you do. I have listened and been counseled by several people in my position who have worked it out and been together 10-30 years after. What I hear is you don’t fully trust again. You learn to be more transparent and open with each other. Can you really carry on a 6-month relationship with a co-worker if you are participating in your family’s life and not locking your phone and sending secret texts in the middle of the night? Probably not. We think we are the ones who need to change after going through this but if you BOTH don’t change, neither will your relationship. Be open, be transparent, SPEAK TO EACH OTHER, and learn to communicate.
How can you even look at him after this?– I try to see him as someone who is lost. I try to give him the benefit of the doubt that he does want to change. I try not to bring it up a lot (an fail…HARD), I try to love a little harder than I did before. It isn’t easy. Sometimes I would rather puke. But so far, so good.
How did you not kill her?– Well, that is illegal….. but also I feel bad for her. Who feels so unlovable that they are okay with sharing a man (partner)? Who can fall in love with someone who doesn’t love them enough to be the only one? I DO NOT like the girl (or believe everything she said). She is a lot of things….but worth my happiness she is NOT!
Are you scared it will happen again?– All Day, Every day. Every nightmare, every moment of happiness. It is ALWAYS there. I was watching an awful reality show (Paradise Hotel on Hulu) and all the women were gorgeous and single. My first thought? He can NEVER watch this! I am seriously afraid a girl is going to pop out of the TV and sleep with my husband…. *facepalm hard** (Sorry the answers aren’t all gems….)
My point is I don’t have good advice….but I do have some experience now!
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